Fuck 2016. No, really. Fuck 2016!

You know, as years go, 2016 was a motherfuck. Seriously, we lost so many great people. Prince, Muhammad Ali, Phife Dawg (A Tribe Called Quest), Leonard Cohen, Alan Rickman, David Bowie, Anton Yelchin, Gene Wilder, the list is too extensive to complete. We lost our collective minds and elected Donald J. Trump President of the United States of Dumbfuckistan. I thought 2015 was bad, but 2016 said, “you ain’t seen nothing yet.”

I try not to be a pessimist, but since I suffer from depression and acute stress disorder, it’s often hard to see the proverbial cup as “half full.” I can only hope that 2017 will be a little bit better. One good thing is I’ll be turning 39. That’s good because my oncologist told me when I was diagnosed with cancer at age 25, that I probably wouldn’t live to see 35 much less 40. 2017 will be a year of new beginnings for me. If Trump’s win did anything, it inspired me to do everything I want to do while I still can. Don’t ask me why. It might be because I feel a sense of ominous danger and within that space, a compulsion to write, to express myself. Within that space, I feel a sense of urgency. It’s kind of riveting in a strange way. Riveting and scary.

So, I decided to get cracking on my New Year’s Resolutions early. The hard part about resolutions is that people have too many. They seem insurmountable and intimidating. But they don’t have to be. So, I’m going to keep mine very simple. I will try to be a better person each new day than I was the day prior. I think I can stick to that. It definitely involves writing a lot more and getting out of the house more often. I have friends I haven’t seen in years. It’s time I look them up.

It’s hard, but I’m going to commit myself to being positive. I will try to see the brighter side of things. I know I will backslide, but if I keep at it, it will become like second nature. I’m going to be easier on myself. My biggest bad habit is that I beat myself up way too much over small things. I’m human and I’m prone to make mistakes. I will work hard at forgiving myself of all my sins and shortcomings.

Consistency is the key.

I don’t have to be perfect or write the greatest magnum opus. I will be happy for a story that makes a modicum of sense. I will be proud of my accomplishments instead of comparing myself to others. I am only in competition with the man I was yesterday. I will grow and I will learn and I will enjoy the journey.

2017, I tell you this only once. Don’t you ever try to fuck me. But even if you do, I will get back up, look you square in the eyes and say, “Is that all you got? You hit like a bitch.”

Stay safe everyone.

Oh what the goddamned fuck, people?

Donald Trump. Courtesy of Wonkette

No, I will not apologize for the vulgar heading. What I will do is speak my mind. It’s no secret to many “woke” people that America is racist, sexist and xenophobic. It’s no secret to anyone who has been paying attention that there has been some significant pushback against the Civil Rights movement in the last fifteen years. Think about that timeline. Fifteen years ago, it was 2001. Are you following me? Since 9/11, America’s fear and hate has been amplified. It’s always been there, this is nothing new. But since that pivotal day, that fateful hour, our country has been mired in fear.

And now, the so-called unthinkable has happened. I say so-called because for many people, Donald Trump’s ascent to the highest office in the land was inevitable. Resentment towards the advances PoC and other marginalized groups have made in the last 50 years has ran deep for just as long. Exit polls show that 58% of white people voted for Trump, 49% of white college graduates voted for Trump and 67% of white people without a college degree voted for him. The coup de grâce? 81% of white evangelicals or born again Christians voted for him? So much for the moral majority.

Obviously, more than white people voted for Trump.  According to the same exit polls, 8% of black people voted for Trump. Yeah, a whole 8%.

Trump’s victory over Clinton upsets me but it’s not the worst part. The worst part is that Trump won over Clinton not in spite of all the horrible, sexist, misogynist, racist and xenophobic rhetoric he spilled all along the campaign trail; he won because of it. That’s right. People voted for him because he promised to deport Mexican immigrants and ban Muslims from entering the country. People voted for him because he promised to construct a wall separating Mexico from the US (and he even went so far as to say he will make Mexico pay for it). People voted for him because he promised to overturn same-sex marriage and Roe vs. Wade. People voted for him because he “spoke his mind” or “told it like it was.” People voted for Donald John Trump because he promised to return them to their glory days. I’m going to stop avoiding the obvious now. WHITE people voted for him because he promised to preserve their privilege and supremacy, which they fear they’re losing in an ever-changing and ever-increasingly multicultural world. The tragic reality of white privilege is the price, fear.

Dave Chappelle and Chris Rock laughing at oblivious white liberals, shocked at a Trump Victory. Courtesy of NBC. 

White people voted for Trump because they’re afraid of losing influence and they tragically believe Donald Trump will bring them back to their glory days. These “glory days” are the days when blacks sat at the back of the bus, women were expected to stay in the bedroom or kitchen, the LGBTQIA were DEEP in the closet and stayed there. You get the gist. Some would argue that most white people who voted for Trump did so because he promised to bring back jobs and shake things up on Capitol Hill. Miss me with that bullshit, please. I will concede that jobs and shaking up the establishment may have been PART of the reason, but everything I already mentioned is a major reason why Trump will be the 45th president of the United States. His appointment of Steve Bannon, ultra right-wing, white supremacist ideologue and executive chairman of Breibart news is more than proof of his intentions. I will not be linking Breibart here. Use Google if you’re interested.

WHITE people voted for him because he promised to preserve their privilege and supremacy, which they fear they’re losing in an ever-changing and ever-increasingly multicultural world. The tragic reality of white privilege is the price, fear.

Stephen Bannon. Courtesy of the Atlantic.

I will not lie, I am hurt. I am hurt because I thought this country was better than this. I thought we were above electing such a charlatan, a showman, a jester. I thought we were above electing a racist and homophobic sexual predator. But apparently hatred runs deep in this country. For the record, I am not interested in giving those who voted for Trump (and those who did not vote at all) the benefit of the doubt. They do not deserve the benefit of the doubt. They declared under no uncertain terms that they do not care about my welfare or safety or survival. They do not care about the welfare, safety or survival of other marginalized groups. I am not interested in pitying my oppressor, nor am I interested in begging for his concern. Donald Trump was very clear about his intentions. I, for one, take him very seriously. If you do not, then your apathy comes from a place of privilege.  As a matter of survival, I must take him seriously.

The worst part is that Trump won over Clinton not in spite of all the horrible, sexist, misogynist, racist and xenophobic rhetoric he spilled all along the campaign trail; he won because of it.

America showed its ass on November 8th and now for the next four years (or shorter if he gets impeached, this guy seems to think he will–lets hope he’s right), we all have to live with the consequences. Thank you, America. Thank you for showing me how fucked up and rotten you can be. Thank you for not holding back your racism because now I know what I’m dealing with–I’ve always known, but this is confirmation beyond belief. There’s a part of me, that furious and devastated part of me that wants to sit back, pour a glass of rum and punch, light a joint and watch your empire burn to ashes and then scream, “I told you so” at the top of my lungs. But the problem with that is I will burn with you. I will not burn, I will stand and fight. And to all those shiny white liberals who want to build bridges and work with him, I will not join you. I will not work with my oppressor. I will oppose him every step of the way.